George Soros - one man Illuminati

Oh, boy, that George Soros is such an awesome bogeyman.  Bastard has his fingers in everything. I just heard he's paying those thousands of high school kids protesting the future policies of the most incompetent, unqualified, scummiest man ever to be President-Elect.

Soros is that powerful!  He is - all by himself - even more powerful than Fox News, the indisputably evil Koch Brothers, those Rothchild wimps and even the Illuminati itself!

(Soros)

Turns out Burger King is just a front-operation for mind-washing the next generation of libdem fucktards until the fucking mind-control lasers are finally perfected (talk about over-budget!).  I mean, Soros needs something right?  Since the stupid chemtrails sprayed daily across the American heartland don't seem to be doing fuck-all to unwarp the minds of the Conservative Middle and turn them into thinking human beings.

(source)

(Okay, so while I totally made up the shit about Soros and Burger King, it turns out there really are some bizzaro conspiracy theories about Burger King. )