Friday, February 26, 2016

Mad Max Fury Road - NOT F*ing Oscar Worthy

Okay, let's get this over with. "Mad Max Fury Road" was a fun and entertaining movie.  I liked it.  I love Charlize Theron, and that dude was hot.  I thought the "villains on sticks" and even the giant speakers with flames and a rock band was cool.  It had some really great freaky-screwed-up imagery of a world gone mad.  Those elements were totally within the scope of the fucked up, dystopian, everyone-has-gone-insane-so-why-not word that is Mad Max.  I mean, you had "bungee cords and chain saws in a cage" in "Beyond Thunderdome," so mounting a heavy metal band stage show on a truck in the desert actually worked.

NOT FUCKING OSCAR WORTHY

Any movie that has a premise of "water is the most precious commodity in the desert, or we all die," and still throws in the gratuitous "pale white chicks having wet t-shirt contest" scene, automatically caps out at "bubble gum amusing," and is stricken from the Oscar contention.

Actually, the fact that "Fury Road" is - in fact - UP FOR TEN (10) FUCKING OSCARS is really a commentary on modern society, and the fucked up value system of modern society, more than it is any kind of comment on the film itself.


Really?  All you could find was pale white chicks? In the desert?  And how precious is water, exactly?  It's called a "gratuitous wet t-shirt contest," because sex sells. End of discussion.

Charlize Theron is Weeping

You just know, deep down, Charlize Theron is weeping -  "I won an Oscar for Monster, and Fury Road is up for ten fucking nominations!?" she whimpers into her pillow at night.  But, she's also a Professional, so publicly she supports the film and congratulates everyone involved. Yeah, she is that good.


And the whole "Mad Max makes men look like pussies" is total bullshit.  Only sad little boys think this is an issue.  Actually, it's again a contrived controversy that is a commentary on modern society that men are losing their privileged status to the scrapings of gender equality and their fragile egos are falling apart.  If you think "Fury Road" was "feminist propaganda," then your world view needs an enema, because your head is in the way.