It's a Gun, Not a Condom 3: Your Penis is Small, Unless You Own a Gun

"Be a Man. Get a Gun."

WTF? does that even mean?

Oh, I see - it means you're not a Real Man unless you've got a big gun in your pocket. 

Being able to hold down a job doesn't make you a Real Man. 

Being able to fix a car doesn't count.

Being a decent father doesn't count.

Being a mature human being capable of holding decent conversation doesn't count.

Nope. Only if you have a bang-bang stick in your pocket, and you're prepared to commit murder with your bang-bang stick, and possibly spend the rest of your life in jail, or the rest of your life as That Murderer, are you a Real Man. (Ask George Zimmerman, Manly Vigilante Hero, how that's working out.)

And, just to repeat the obvious - but Very Important point: it's a gun, not a condom! It's a device meant to kill humans. It's not Iron Man's power armor, or Captain America's mighty shield, or even Wonder Woman's magic bracelets. It can't "protect you" - it only let's you shoot back.

(And boys, do you really want to date this woman? If she really gets wet for your Big Gun, how long before she uses it on someone, and it's her ass of to jail, leaving you to raise the kids by yourself?)

Oh, for fuck's sake, can we get some fucking basic intelligence in this conversation?