Soros is that powerful! He is - all by himself - even more powerful than Fox News, the indisputably evil Koch Brothers, those Rothchild wimps and even the Illuminati itself!
Turns out Burger King is just a front-operation for mind-washing the next generation of libdem fucktards until the fucking mind-control lasers are finally perfected (talk about over-budget!). I mean, Soros needs something right? Since the stupid chemtrails sprayed daily across the American heartland don't seem to be doing fuck-all to unwarp the minds of the Conservative Middle and turn them into thinking human beings.
(Okay, so while I totally made up the shit about Soros and Burger King, it turns out there really are some bizzaro conspiracy theories about Burger King. )