Wednesday, March 11, 2015

To Get Rich Quick: Start Off Being Rich

I commented a while ago about how the members of the T-Mobile Board of Directors get paid $250,000 per year, and have to meet one time per year, and do ten phone calls per year. If they do more then ten phone calls, they get more money.

Well, turns out the guys at Apple get even MORE (according to the 2015 shareholder report) - $250,000 in stock (not options, but actual fucking stock, at market price), and a cash bonus on top of that.

If you're the Chairman of the Board at Apple, you get $200,000 in cash, plus that quarter-million in stock.  That's a $weet, $weet deal. 

Like I said, the best way to get paid for doing nothing is to start off rich, because then you can arrange to get yourself into more of these sweetheart deals where you can pay yourself insane amounts of money for doing nothing.

Yes, yes, fine, so the Board of Directors has major influence on the leadership and direction of a company like Apple Corporation, which ultimately affects its health as an organization and its profitability as a corporation.

So, let's see, $250,000 a year is $685 per calendar day, or $962 per week day, or $121 per work hour, assuming an eight-hour work day.

(Just for contrast, a $10 minimum wage is $10 per work hour, $80 per work day, $400 per work week, so you can see that the compensation for butt-warming a figurative "chair" could instead be used to pay twelve Americans minimum wage, or about eighty Chinese sweat shop labores.)

Except bullshit if these guys are spending an eight-hour work day, 50 weeks per year, making Board of Director Decisions.

Let's assume it's more like... hm, a total of 120 hours per year?  That would be three weeks, full-time.  If you compare to T-Mobile (which is probably more like 20 to 25 hours per year), then I'm probably giving these people way too much fucking credit.

So, if we generously assume 120 hours (remember, that's three work weeks) per year, that's $2082 per hour in compensation by stock (and note that these guys at Apple get a cash bonus on top of that $2082 per hour).

So, yeah. I call 1) bullshit on the entire upside down class warfare system, and 2) bullshit on these whiners for saying "oh, poor us, getting taxed for doing fucking nothing.

You want to see if these guys are worth $2082 per hour?  I have the perfect test: let me be on the Board of Directors for one year.  If I can do the job even one-tenth as well (meaning a mere $208/hour), then they're not worth that, and bullshit on them.