Friday, April 15, 2016

Fiction Friday - Guys Love Boob Armor

There is no escaping it. Guys love boob armor. It's become an iconic staple of, well, everything.  But, the reality is that boob armor is terrible about blocking swords and things.  And, women can still be totally sexy in useful armor.  Women may not be built for the same upper body strength as men, but we can be just as quick and deadly.  Besides, the lower center of gravity means we're less likely to fall over when swinging that big mace, right?

Here is a great vid which discusses historical armor, and why the chainmail bikini is silly, even if it is sexy.

And, just to update the modern fantasy legend, here are some more great examples of totally silly boob armor.

I've heard from a couple of sources that the original Star Wars stormtroopers had a lot of women in those costumes - that Lucas was literally putting anybody in the armor, to have enough extras stomping around.  Good for him. Chicks rule.

Okay, that last one does actually look even sillier than the previous examples. At least with the bare midriff, their wearing the lampshade of "sex sells."  Then again, this last model really highlights the absurdity of boob armor. 

1 comment :

  1. I reject the notion that "boob armor" can't exist in a fantasy setting based on the fact that "boob armor for women" did exist, and was produced in Persia, India and Ireland (and possibly other places as well).

    Here is a link to a set of armor from India. This is probably the most exaggerated "boob armor" that I've ever seen.

    Less exaggerated versions of boob armor seem to have been more common (though it is hard to tell too much for certain).

    I reject the idea that boob armor was impractical in part because the same complaints should be leveled at ancient Greek muscle armor.

    Armor is as much about fashion as it is about defense.