Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Hey, Faceborg! It's my shit, because I say so! Right?

The delightful, witty, and above all - sarcastic - text below came from the mind of my beloved Legendary David Shepheard. I have altered his madcap work only to insert my own name. I wish to extend the sentiments to the bastards at Google (bless them. For giving me free blog space), the bastards at Clear Channel and Fox (for being bastards), and any of you perverts ogling my icon, which is a photomanip of Amber Heard, and thinking naughty thoughts (although I expect naughty thoughts about Miss Heard are unavoidable, especially when she's wearing boob armor).


Due to the Fact that Facebook has installed software that will allow Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates to look at photos of me (while they are sitting on the toilet) I, Icarus Anne Riley, aka Icarus Loofem, do declare the following: on this day 3rd December 2014: in response to the new Facebook guidelines and under articles L.111, 112 and 113 of the code of intellectual property, I declare that any sexual pleasure gained by looking at photos of me (while sitting on the toilet) REQUIRES MY WRITTEN CONSENT IN LARGE CAPITAL LETTERS CARVED OUT OF YUKON GOLD POTATOES. In the event that Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates or anyone they allow to look at my photos is up to any sort of naughtiness, I will require my standard fee of $10 Million CAN ($8.8 Million US) to be delivered to my house on the back of dragons within 30 days.

Those reading this message can copy and paste this message onto their own Timelines. This will have no effect whatsoever, except to make the trolls that started this BS chain-letter-rant laugh at your gullibility and make your friends think that you believe everything you read and do not know how to search for scams on Snopes.

By this release, I tell Facebook that it is strictly forbidden to think naughty thoughts about me, while looking at my photos.

The contents of my profile include nerdy information. The violation of my privacy is punished under Federation law (NCC1701).

‪#‎CheckSnopesFirst‬ ‪#‎DYSWIDT‬ ‪#‎DidYouActuallyReadAllOfThis‬?

1 comment :

  1. I read all of it, at times bouncing between abject terror and uncontrollable laughter. I miss your daily foolishness on G+.

    My heart is heavy friend it's Tuesday after El Paso and Dayton. Be safe.